we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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