I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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