You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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