Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
