Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize