I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
