I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
