i just had sex bonerless
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
