Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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