so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
