goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
