I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
