this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
