someone threw a dead crab at me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
