Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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