I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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