Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I look better un-naked...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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