u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
