i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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