You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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