Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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