We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
