Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
