..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
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Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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