it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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