So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize