Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
