There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
