just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
