tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
