I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
