seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
