i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize