I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
