He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
