I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
