honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
