Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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