smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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