someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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