What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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