btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it glows. i had to have it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
