I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think my vagina is haunted
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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