kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
