Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She's just so happy...and so naked.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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