Don't you send me to vm
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize