I wanna bring you to show and tell
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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