super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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