i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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