If that was your dad, he is hot
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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