She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
