Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
