i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
