Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
A+ Viking dick
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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