Little spoons don't ask big questions
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
