it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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