I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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