it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
