I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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