you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
